A Room With A View

Today was a busy day for us. My wife’s first administration of the Chemotherapy began today. The cocktail of drugs given was ABVD. I won’t go into the science behind it all because whats important now is that the dirty cancer is getting cleaned up as we speak and that’s all that matters.

I know my wife very well. From the day we met, she always admired my ( according to my wife ) really odd sense of humor. I often lift her spirits when she is feeling down. This is probably the most crucial time in her life in which her sorrow seemed to be so deep and that is to be expected.

We came into the Oncology unit and got set up. First things first before we start the treatment it was important we got a baby scan to keep everything in check. It was then another long march back to the Oncology unit. Whilst waiting for everything to be set up I read her the Bible. She was feeling pretty down in herself and began to get panicky and extremely anxious.

It was at this point that I needed to break the ice a little. Not knowing what to do I rose from my chair and sighed a thought of not being any useful. I looked out the window and I knew then that this would get a good laugh from what may seem to many as an odd joke to make considering the circumstances but then again you don’t know my wife’s great sense of humor. It was a daring joke to make and I thought about it for sometime but eventually had to break that ice some how.

I looked out the window and shouted back ”Hey honey, at least they gave you a room with a view, take a look”. We looked outside and busted out laughing because right across the road was a Catholic graveyard/cemetery. It broke the ice and we were in hysterics and saying ”Oh my goodness, who puts an oncology unit right beside a GRAVEYARD? of ALL places?.

She became extremely relaxed and the day went well. She had no side effects apart from a slight tension headache and tingling in the tumors. I reminded her that the ABVD was killing those tumors and that is a good tingle.

Even though we joked around about the graveyard, it still was a serious question we had. It was a strange position to be in for any patient at the clinic. I decided to leave for half hour and give her some rest whilst I took a walk. I walked outside and I found a cancer patient perhaps in his late 60’s leaning over the barrier between us and the graveyard and peering at it intently. I had this urge to just give him a hug or something and tell him to remain positive, God has a plan. Of course, a stupid thing to act out and I’d probably have my head handed to me but I wonder what it was he was thinking. My eyes welled up with tears and compassion for him. I mean it is hard enough having to deal with cancer without having to step outside and see a graveyard every-time you visit your local chemo clinic.

Yet there was also something inside of me begging the question ”oh yes but isn’t looking at a graveyard very liberating”? This thought may be spiritually too much for some of you reading this to consume right now ( even for me ) so I’ll leave it here and bid you a blessed and good night and will leave you with a final thought: I Love My Wife and I have a sort of Holy Envy of her right now because of the faith in God she possesses. I wish I could be like her.

God bless you all

Domestic Monk

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