Posts Tagged With: Jesus

What Is Great Wealth?

There is a proverb in the Bible ”Wealth adds many friends, but the friend of the poor man deserts him.” (prv:19:4)

At first glance it is literally what we perceive it to be. Having lots of money means we’ll gather many friends and when we are poor we don’t really have any friends and when we’ve run out of money they often desert us.

I like to look at this a little deeper and in a spiritual sense.

Wealth is good when the wealth is wisdom and virtue. A virtuous man will attract many friends are true and faithful because he’s wise enough to tell friend from foe.

A poor man could be someone who has all the money in the world but he lacks the wisdom and virtue to attract good friends who won’t desert him or stab him in the back. But poor men (avaricious wealthy type) their friends have already in their heart deserted them and are always looking for ways to hoodwink them or use them for their own gain.

Desertion doesn’t always mean somebody has fled from your presence but that whilst in your presence their heart has already left you. For example Judas in his heart had already betrayed and deserted Jesus.

This however more or so happens the man rich in wealthy. In this proverb he is the poor man whose friends desert him and the wealthy man is the materially poor man whose rich in wisdom and has attracted the true friend who will never leave him in times of trouble.

For the Kingdom of God is like a treasure which a man finds and then goes and hides so great is the find.

What kind of treasure do you possess?

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What Is Freedom? 


 If I told you today that you’re going to prison for no apparent reason other than you’re just not liked for being a Christian, and will be placed in a cell with the worlds most notorious serial killer, what would happen?

Go on, before you read on try to place yourself in the shoes of someone going into that cell and being put there for life. . .

Describe in the comment section below what emotions you experienced. If you experienced any kind of anxiety, fear or nervousness then you are not yet a free man. If, in the midst of your distressing situation you felt anger, upset, afraid, anxious then, even though you may believe in God and have regardless his heavenly reward,it does not preclude that you are free.

Is your wife causing you distress. Is the way she talks, eats and picks her nose bothering you? Then you are not yet free. In fact, you are enslaved to others because you become upset and angry on the occasion of their behaviour even if such things they do are vile and horrible.

Not only can we be enslaved to others, but we can become enslaved to the cultural norm around us. You’ve heard it before we must succeed in passing the test and if we don’t we must get upset because it wouldn’t be normal NOT to get upset. Isn’t that so ridiculous? and yet everyone around us day in and day out are a victim of this.

We are like little birds with a string attached to our legs unable to fly beyond the Sacraments of the Church and daily devotions, advance spiritually because these are the very things that hold us down.

Of course, for those of us who never become free of the string, God will come and cut it someday (when we die). Then there are those who are ”aware” of the string which is much better than total ignorance. At least then you can wriggle your way to freedom.

Then there are those who actually break free from the string because they have been given the grace to do so.

What is the string? It’s anxiety, fear, anger, hatred, sexual immorality. It was built by the culture around us to prevent us from attaining the heavenly heights. It is all those people who talk behind your back. It is the man who raped your daughter and whom you cannot forgive. It is the weight of the world and Satan holding you back but once you’re free, you are now the appropriate slave of Christ and a freedom very few (including myself) attain.

This kind of spiritual height however is usually attained by those not living in the world. But like a dog who eats the scraps, if we even manage to fill our spiritual bellies with some of this valuable information, oh how navigating the interior AND exterior life would be made so much easier.

To be able to sit in prison and find happiness in the four dark walls that surround you for the next 20 years, this is what it means to be under the instruction and oppression of another and yet more free than the person who enslaves you. It won’t be long before the prison guard sees how free you are and begins to question the piece of string attached to his leg preventing him to fly.

True freedom consists in being attached to God not to others. If you are attached to your car and become upset someone threw paint all over it, you are enslaved to something not made by God but by man and so you’re an idolater of the material.

This is what Jesus means when he says if a man asks you for your cloak give it to him. Be free not only of the material but the actual conceptual images and indoctrination of you’ve been taught since the day you were born.

You were taught to seek the praise of others. You were taught that you must try to impress others and that when you were applauded by your peers you began to feel so great inside and this feeling is necessary for living.

It is like Heroin, it controls you, you need it so badly the approval of others and if you don’t get it you become so depressed and feel so unloved.

You visit a psychologist not to cure you from your stupidity but just to listen to your garbage for an hour to help you alleviate your pain of being rejected by your wife, husband and girlfriend.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have mercy on those who live in darkness (and we all live in Darkness and stumble from time to time) because you can’t help but have mercy for them. They’re not perpetrators, they’re victims of the world and victims of themselves. They’re hurting, they need our love and sometimes love comes in the form of a very firm but necessary crash course in what it means to be free.

St.Maximos the Confessor says that we must show mercy to those who stumble in darkness. What is the darkness? it is that string tied to the bird’s leg. That’s what darkness is and finding the light switch can be so hard sometimes but it is possible only when one desires to be free or has someone in the room shouting ”Over here, here is the light switch, come follow me”.

Because we all need someone to guide us don’t we? Without them we remain in the darkness. We wake up in the darkness, receive Holy Communion in the Darkness, confess our sins in the darkness, go to work in darkness, make love to our wives in the darkness, then we die in our darkness and only then do we see the light of Christ.

But we can see the light of Christ now, we just need to look for that switch.

I’m not asking you to follow me because I’m still looking for mine.

God bless.



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I Am King, Priest And Prophet Of This Family

Knights templar

In recent weeks I’ve decided I’ve just about had enough of the local Roman Catholic masses. I’ve therefore set €20 euros aside every week to travel to and back from Dublin for the Divine Liturgy in the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church of Blessed Nicholas at Holy Cross College in Dublin.

Now my son Christian receives Holy Communion every week whereas my wife takes my other son to her Roman Mass. It’s messy and I always went with my wife so we could be united as a family at one Mass but I can’t take it anymore.

I just can’t take it anymore I’m about to lose my absolute mind and I need to take care of my mental and spiritual health.

It doesn’t matter how intellectual or spiritual you are it doesn’t matter what vision or mystical experience/insight you’ve been given, one thing I’ve learned is,  as like the great father Tertullian, Evagrios and Origen, you can lose your way. But you can get back and your feet also.

I’m determined not to become lost and so I’m sticking to my promise I made to Fr.Serge that I would raise my children Ukrainian Greek Catholics.

I’ve ordered my Ukrainian Greek Catholic Catechism and I’m going to teach this to the lads. When Joseph is old enough for the Divine Liturgy with me I’ll take him also. My wife will just have to like it or lump it.

Whilst the Orthodox Catholic Elite will be sending their kids to their spiritual death in American and Irish Catholic Universities I’ll be having mine sent to Ukraine and the slavic regions universities for their studies. They will learn how to read and write Russian, Ukrainian, Their ancient Irish language and unlike the American or Irish Schools they will grow in an Orthodox environment and an Orthodox Country/culture.

I’ll be training them in my own school of how the world around them works, how the devil works and how the hidden (yet visible to those it’s granted to) Kingdom of God looks like. I’ll be giving them a head start on all the trappings and wiles of the devil not just the exterior ones ”Media, pop culture and journalism” to name but a few but the interior ones also and how to recognize and discern his voice in comparison to the Holy Spirits.

I will teach them the Hesychast thoughtless, absent of images form of prayer in their very early teens.

With Christs help and that of the Holy Theotokos, these young boys will be built like spiritual tanks of pure Love for God, his church and those it shepherds.


Armed with Faith, Hope and Charity they will have the word as their sword with the ability to counter any argument and disarm the enemy with their humility.

The Sacraments of the Church will be their shield to defend themselves against the Devil whose prowling around my family looking to tear it apart because he knows what is coming.

I am King, Priest and Prophet of the Holy Land that is their innocent little souls and nobody is getting beyond its gates. Jesus is with me, Theotokos is with me and all the Saints from Orthodox to Catholic are behind me ready to back me up in the fight.

A fresh commitment.

God bless



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Dreams, what are they? This was my sisters question at my sons 6th birthday party.

My simple explanation was they are mostly due to several factors like what you ate can have an influence. In addition they can be just reflections of your current spiritual and emotional state.

Our dreams can be a tell tale sign of how sick our soul is and so if our prayer life isn’t too good we can end up with a lot of nasty dreams because when our prayer life is weak we open ourselves to bad emotional habits.

The Divine and the Devil can interfere in our dreams. It’s mostly the devil. You’ll recognize him because its a lot of anxiety and shouting in the dream. Sometimes he mimics the face of Jesus but it turns menacing very quickly and so your soul will recognize who is who pretty quickly.

Dreams from Jesus which are extremely…..extremely rare, are filled with peace and no fear at all.

The Devil is more of a nuisance. He enters your dreams especially when you’re on the road back to God or are a prayerful person. He’ll have you tortured and it’s quite scary. I have regular dreams of him pulling me down to hell and screeching in my ear. It is quickly ended when in my dream I shout out the prayer of St.Michael and then I awaken. I do this within the dream every single time.

He’s trying to dissuade us from our progress in prayer. That’s all he can do really is dissuade you and intimidate you and only has as much power over you as the Lord allows him to.

Another example is my wife. I met my wife on and it when we got talking first before we’d ever met she said she’d never been to confession before. I told her she has to go. She scheduled an appointment with the priest in her diocese of New Jersey city. The night before the morning of the meeting with the priest she called me and told me of the dream she had.

She explained that she was in the confession box and on the other side of the confession box behind the grid was the devil hissing and scratching with long nails along the wood. She awoke frightened, called me and said she couldn’t go to confession. I explained that it’s just the Devil trying to intimidate you because pretty soon, you will receive full absolution and no longer belong to him.

It turned out Audreys problem was she had an abortion, something she did not confess nor all the drug taking etc etc.

Ah, now you see how the devil can enter dreams? We will always have menacing dreams but our dreams often reflect the state of our soul or they confirm we are on the right path. Audreys certainly reflected a dream of someone who was making the right journey home.

Good night, sleep tight, don’t eat too much cheese.


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Loving Your Enemy

Loving your enemy is a Grace so it’s not something we can learn. But there are exercises I do that I find helpful and when Christ sees the effort we put into trying He will often bestow upon us the Grace if He wants.

I take a picture of someone in my mind who find really mean and horrible. I picture this person and I try to view them as Christ would do so. How does Christ see this person in comparison to me? Is his love any different for me than it is for him?

It could be someone close to you who committed a red scarlet sin. It could be a member of Isis you saw behead or kill someone. Whatever and whoever it may be, it helps to picture that person when they were an innocent baby themselves before they became who they did.

When I do this and ask these questions, I suddenly feel love for them. If at any time I do this and I don’t feel love for them and the hatred is strong, it is because my prayer life is weak and relationship with God needs more attention.

Everything has its root in our relationship with God. How we approach certain situations will all determine on our relationship or lack thereof with Jesus.

Try it, I find that it works and well as praying for them. How do you go about forgiving your enemies?

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Moments Of Grace

Life is riddled with suffering and turmoil. For the average man like me and you who don’t live out a vocation of spiritual perfection (religious/priest) we are often not spiritually tuned in.

We are so busy trying to please the wife and kids that we really don’t even bother with prayer all that much or spiritual reading. We’ve no time for it except for the weekends. As a result of our inability to pray this means we become more worldly.

Married life therefore by saint Paul was rightly seen as the worst of all vocations because it was the toughest. Why was it the toughest? because it deprives you of God basically which you wouldn’t get if you weren’t married and all the time to focus on God.

However there are moments of Grace where God approaches us in the midst of our blindness. Have you ever seen the Shawshank Redemption? It’s a movie with a particular scene where Andy Dufrane breaks into the prison office and play a beautiful early 20th century song sung in french over the megaphones in the prison yard.

All of a sudden in this world of suffering, everyone from rapist to murderer and from petty thief to the innocent all stop in their tracks. They look up and listen with joy. For those few moments they felt so free and they forgot about their suffering for a brief moment of time.

God does this too. Like Andy Dufrane he chooses his moment to break into our minds and turn on the record. He turns up the volume enough so we can hear it and stop our daily routine or what it is we are doing at that moment in time.

The the philosophy of the world which we’ve been brainwashed by is a prison of suffering but God gives us little tastes of freedom to remind us of what is really important.

Therefore in our daily tasks in which we are not mindful of God, he will approach us enough for us to know that it’s important to hang in there with our Sunday obligation and weekly Mass. We are given moments of Grace as encouragement.

Here is the scene of Andy turning on the record and the devil coming in at the end to spoil the show haha.


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The Abortion Debate And Democracy

In Ireland and the world over there’s this belief that “the will of the people shall be listened to” . A pro abortion commentator said that recently. 

You will also hear others repeating things like “Pro lifers are afraid of a referendum because they know we will win”. 

Lets begin with “the will of the people shall be listened to”. This statement is the result of moral relativistic philosophy currently pervading the atheistic western society. 

In simple terms it means that if 30 people are in a room and all are asked to vote that we should all for 24 hours eliminate  and relax every law in the country and 16 vote in favour, we are to….follow the  will of the majority. 

Does the thought of being on an island with people like that scare you? An island where nobody has studied medicine yet can decide to vote on a law based on personal opinion? Of course it would and on the island of ireland that’s who we live with. 

Democracy is not all that great. We’ve seen what happened Jesus when Pilate put it to the will of the people who should be released and Pilate expected them no doubt to make the right decision and vote Jesus but they didn’t, they picked barabbass instead.

In the crowd before and during the voting stirring up the people was the Pharisees. Those poor people, they really thought that they were voting when they were voting based on the brainwashing they’d received from the Pharisees and those viewed as more wise than they. They really thought they were exercising their democratic right. 

It is the same here in Ireland today. We have a very nasty type of brainwashing of the Irish people that has taken many many years to do because if evil were to come all at once, we would not be deceived, it must be introduced slowly. 

Like the Pharisees of Jesus time the media along with the politicians move among the people, stirring up their emotions and using every media outlet and avenue to dumb down a nation and slowly break their faith with the use of imagery, movies, songs, newspapers, opinion pieces and their favourite “polls”. 

When they’ve spent years stirring the people up they throw a referendum at them. If the people didn’t vote the way they wanted them too, they simply wait another 20 years before they throw another referendum at them. They continue this process whilst in between these years and whilst they wait, continue to use the media and political power to brainwash the people of Ireland. 

There are many favourite tactics of theirs but some of the ones at the top include Polls, opinion pieces and celebrities. You’d be amazed how much of an effect it has on people when you tell them “Majority thinks abortion should be available on the demand, it’s time to stop hurting women “. People see that and already they feel the majority are correct and begin to turn like zombies and follow the herd. 

Celebrities are the new age Philsophers. Media and political science love using them because die hard fans hang on their every word. 

The poor people of Ireland, like the crowd before Pilate,  they really think they’re being democratic when really they’re voting based on the brainwashing they received from those in power and control of what they should think. They dont know it but from the day they were born into this world they have been groomed by a dark sinister force to think and vote a certain way. 

So in the end, it’s not really the will of the people but the will of the powerful elite that is being exercised. 

A referendum on the 8th amendment is something I’m frightened of because I know that when it comes to crowds making decisions, history has always shown they’ve chosen barabbass over Jesus. 

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Jesus Is A Drug, Without the Drug I’m lost. 

I’ve been trying to examine myself and why it is I’ve come to abhor the Roman Catholic Church so much. I’m either still here because my wife won’t allow me to leave or because my conscience and experience with Christ won’t allow me to. 

Whatever experience I’ve had with Christ has really screwed with my brain. There are days I have when I don’t Beleive it happened. There are days I question my psyche. 

“But it was so real ” is often what I repeat over and over again. Or “Maybe it was real but it was the devil because look at your sinful self now and how horrible you are and all the bad language you come out with. If it was from God, you’d be holy by now surely.”

There used to be days when I would go into the church and beg God to take it back. I’d rub my head and tell him to take it away this prickly thing and burning on my head and just let me go back to being the Stephen I was before. 

Like a husband sick of seeing his wife every day of the week I tell Jesus to leave me alone. 

I tried to return to my old musical, pub attending self adoring man I used to be. One night I came home so drunk from meeting old friends and I told Jesus to fuck off and yet still this prickly sensation and burning from the night we met was still there. Wouldn’t go away. 

I said sorry the next morning, picked myself up and moved on. 

No matter how hard I tried I cannot get rid of Jesus. It’s like he’s here to stay and that’s that. 

I can’t handle the Roman Catholic Church and I don’t feel at peace in it. I walk into an Orthodox Church and I feel as if an aunt or uncle is taking care of me until man and dad get better and I can go home. It ( The Orthodox ) feeds my addiction somehow of being close to God, helping me draw near to him yet I feel and know deep down that the Catholic Church is the one true Church. 

There are days when I don’t want to look at any Christian Church at all. I just want to forget about all of it. My experiences ….everything. I remember when I first asked my wife to marry me. Before we tied the knot I told her everything that happened me. Either she thought I was crazy and would leave me or Beleive me somehow and stay. 

Since we’ve been married we’ve spoken three times about what happened me but I’ve never spoken to anyone else about it since. I leave it alone. I ignore it. Of what use is it to people anyway? How would they benefit from it? No point in telling anyone. 

But this whole Christian thing drives me mad. I can’t leave because deep down I know it’s real and even though I know it’s real I still need faith because I don’t trust it’s real all the time. Even though I’ve had what happened to me I still need faith and often lose it. 

All I know is the Roman Catholic Church annoys me Yet I can’t leave her or disbelieve in her. I’ve tried but no matter what Jesus knows that I know I can’t leave. 

I don’t go to prayer groups or bible groups. I don’t like mixing with other Christians or priests because they annoy me to such an extent that they revive in me the desire to go home and forget about Christianity. 

All I wanna do is go to Mass on Sunday ( reluctantly to a Roman one ) and confession Saturday. That’s it. I’m just so angry at God and the Catholic Church. I ask him why he’s allowing this devastation of his church. With what I’ve seen and know i have felt like a man behind a soundproof piece of glass. 

I’m banging the glass , shouting and warning people of imminent danger but they don’t hear me. I can see it coming or happening but they don’t see me or hear me. How frustrating is that? It’s become so frustrating that I’ve stopped banging and shouting. I’ve stopped writing cardinals letters as well as bishops and priests. 

I just allow God to take his course. Now I’m a door to door sales man and I focus on this. I like the freedom of the job and meeting people on a daily basis. I carry a copy of the bible around but I rarely get to read it anymore. I guess I just keep it there for protection same as a rosary. 

I tend to keep a rosary in my pocket but I don’t pray it as mush as I used to. I’m frustrated with myself, God and everything. 

In addition to this I’ve the devil annoying me. He never sleeps and im tortured. Mentally exhausted. Sometimes I give in as my soul is so weakened by lack of prayer and grace because my sins pile up and up so much that bouncing back from a hard fall is so difficult and so I don’t bother. 

“I’ll go to mass and confession and that will have to do for now” I tell myself.

Please pray for me. 

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I Have Forgotten About God

Recently I have plunged into the deep sea of so much work that I have little time to come to the surface and see the wife and kids and most of all God himself for any length of time. 

In fact I’m encountering a problem where I see everyone and everything  as an obstacle to the couple of hours time I have in front of the TV. It’s about the only energy I have the time for. 

My manager was worried that if I took the extra work with Microsoft that I’d burn myself out. I was initially going to work a 7 day week but decided against it mainly because it’s at least important to have one day off to sort my life out but most of all because for Christian reasons I don’t like working a Sunday. 

From the Monday to Saturday my hours are so evil that I do not get to confession. There is no confession on a Sunday so that option isn’t available to me. 

I do often think about God but is that enough? Perhaps considering my circumstances it will suffice I just don’t know because I am blind to the mind of God. 

What I do know is that I am like driftwood floating down the stream on a journey that leads away from God. Another description of my current predicament is that I’m like a dead fish going with the flow. 

The more and more I drift away from God, the more and more sins I commit and become forgetful of him. My forgetfulness is not one of mindfulness but rather a forgetfulness of the soul whereby my soul no longer wants to bother praying and being Christian. 

I definitely am mindful and think of/or about Jesus but I am distant and forgetful of him in virtue because I’m not actively praying. 

I don’t like it but what’s a man to do? I have to make money and it’s not easy being a slave to it and not a slave to Jesus when you’ve a family to provide for. 

I know someday the Lord will open a door for me. 

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We Make Incorrect Assumptions About People All The Time

There is a story about a 24 year old boy whose on the train home with his father. As he spots the trees outside the window he shouts “look Dad the trees are whizzing by isn’t that amazing? Those are trees?” A young couple take note of this strange behaviour and begin to laugh at him. The boy continues “Look dad the clouds are running with us”. The young couple couldn’t resist, laughed and said “why don’t you take your son to see a good doctor? 

The boy’s father replied “I did, we are just on our way back from the hospital and my son has been blind from birth but now he can see everything for the first time.”

What did the young couple see? They saw their own creation of a story they themselves developed in their heads. They saw a boy acting out of the ordinary and drew their own conclusion and then became convinced of their own convictions about what was taking place. 

That my dear readers is the perfect picture of every human. We are forever drawing up conclusions and base our convictions on these alone without ever entering into a more detailed analysis of the situation. It doesn’t happen slowly either and there is no build up but very quickly it can occur. 

Sometimes it can be to our merit whilst in other cases our detriment. The apostles in the scriptures and the Pharisees have done it. They drew conclusions about Jesus based on their own prejudices about him. They were not real and it wasn’t the real Jesus but the Jesus they created in their heads, the Jesus they thought they knew. 

We’ve done it ourselves and every human is a victim of it. It’s not learning how to eliminate such behaviour but to just understand and control it. Then the more we catch ourselves in the act of doing it, the more likely we can slowly reduce it to a minimum. 

We all paint a picture of something that we think is taking place but is not. We often do this, not just with others, but ourselves also. We tend to develop a bad image of ourselves based on what the world has conditioned us to believe about ourselves then become convinced of that and so walk around daily never knowing our true self. 

In order to discover truth about others we must first discover ourselves and uncover who we really are. Then having done that we will be able to make better decisions in every situation we encounter. 

If you’re thinking of the scriptural passage about taking the beam out of your own eye and the foolish blind leading the blind you will see exactly where I am headed with this. 

The whole dying to the self is very important because if we don’t do that then we will always walk through life asleep without ever truly knowing Christ and ourselves. We will, like the apostles and Pharisees only walk around the whole of life worshipping a Jesus we think we know according to our worldly conditioning.

People often want to know the meaning of life. If you strip off the old self and pray with more than just your lips and the odd climbing of a mountain on pilgrimage, perhaps Jesus will give you a glimpse?

We are all the couple on the train. We’ve all done exactly what they’ve done. Watch out for it now this week. Try and catch yourself doing it next time you’re in public or alone in your thoughts. 

God bless ya 

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